The Fault in Our Stars (Josh Boone, USA 2014)

• I’ve seen this trailer several times now, and the movie just looks like a total mess. It looks like it’s telling a seven-act story with no overarching point. It really bears the marks of a film being run by the novelist or people who don’t have the courage of conviction to be adapting the novel, which is a shame, because the novel certainly gets plenty of praise. (Sorry if it stinks, H.)
• Credit to the hair and makeup folks for the job they did on Shailene Woodley–she still looks pretty, but decidedly un-sexy, and with her, that takes some work.
• I swear this trailer is 15 minutes long.

Hercules (Brett Ratner, USA 2014)

• I still think this looks like a serious contender for worst movie of all time.
• This version of the trailer starts off with Dwayne Johnson pretentiously explaining the “importance” of the story of Hercules. And he’s being totally serious. He really is trying to win an Oscar.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (Matt Reeves, USA 2014)

• I had seen a shorter, more effective trailer before. This one just makes the movie look like an overlong, over-serious set of action set-pieces with half the cast dressed as apes.
• I looked this up–this is actually the eighth Planet of the Apes film. Scary, isn’t it?

Deliver Us from Evil (Scott Derrickson, USA 2014)

• Just what we needed–another exorcism movie. I want to throw up just from the fact that another one of these is being made.
• And again, it starts with a claim that it is a true story. Humanity has no hope.
• Even in the trailer, Eric Bana’s accent kept slipping.

Get on Up (Tate Taylor, USA 2014)

• If this were being released in December, I would say Chadwick Boseman is guaranteed to win the Best Actor Oscar. Is it coming out earlier because there is some reason that they think it’s got a chance as a summer movie or because Boseman’s performance isn’t good enough? I’m hoping it’s the former, because Boseman has been impressive in his career so far.
• Tate Taylor has a reputation as a director who gets Academy Award consideration for his actors (though I don’t know that it takes much work to get that from Jessica Chastain). His presence is yet another sign that this film exists only to get Boseman an award.

Guardians of the Galaxy (James Gunn, USA 2014)

• Different trailer this time–it includes “Spirit in the Sky,” which is a truly awesome song. Yeah, I sound old when I talk about music.
• I’m pretty sure Karen Gillan was on screen this time, so I’m going to go ahead and mention it, because, well, Karen Gillan. If you’ve been reading this blog and don’t know that I’m sort of obsessed with Karen Gillan, you may have some issues with reading comprehension.

Magic in the Moonlight (Woody Allen, USA 2014)

• There was no trailer for this, but why have I still not seen one? There is one out, and it can be seen on the IMDb, but I haven’t seen it in the theaters. I’m afraid that’s a bad sign. If I end up having to wait for DVD on two consecutive Woody Allen films, I’m moving.
• Recently, Allen has been at his best in non-comedies, so I’m a bit trepidatious for this one. However, he also hasn’t made a truly poor film for five years, so I’m not outright worried.