Thoughts on the Previews: April 26, 2014

The Draft Day (Ivan Reitman, USA 2014) review will go up sometime tonight/tomorrow morning and Orphan Black will hopefully be up mid-day sometime tomorrow. Since the last “Thoughts on the Previews” post was surprisingly popular, I thought I should write one again.


  • The “trivia” is way, way, way too easy in movie theaters, because it’s really just advertising for recent releases.
  • Same M & M commercial as last time . . . still rather funny.
  • The Coca-Cola commercials are horrendous. Who cares about the stupid Coca-Cola Polar Bears? I didn’t even know they were still around or were a national campaign–I thought they were a Colorado thing because of the polar bears at the Denver Zoo!

Million Dollar Arm (Craig Gillespie, USA 2014)

  • I can’t be the only one who felt like this movie made perfect sense as soon as it said it was by Disney–it’s the sort of treacly schlock only Disney trades in.
  • Jon Hamm is one of the more overrated actors in the world (Seriously, Don Draper is not a difficult role.), but that seems like a part tailor-made for him.
  • Is Alan Arkin in every movie now? And always playing the exact same role?
  • Is it supposed to be impressive that someone threw 87 mph? I don’t know how hot the radar guns I’ve thrown in front of before are, but I could get into the mid-80s, and I’m about the most unathletic person on the planet.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (Seth MacFarlane, USA 2014)

  • Seth MacFarlane makes nothing but crap. I was so excited about Cosmos and I love Neil DeGrasse Tyson but it’s nothing but a dumbed-down showcase for MacFarlane’s animation skills. I know he’s the rare celebrity skeptic, but I still wish he would go away.
  • Nothing looked at all amusing about this film.

Hercules (Brett Ratner, USA 2014)

  • This looks like the worst movie ever made. It’s all CGI. And it’s not even good CGI. Ratner doesn’t have a good track record. (It’s not good when your best film is Red Dragon [USA/Germany 2002].) Dwayne Johnson doesn’t have a good track record and he seems to be attempting to set some sort of record for overacting in the trailer. The story of Hercules is really long for a movie. Wow. We may all lose a standard deviation of IQ from being alive while this is released.

Get On Up (Tate Taylor, USA 2014)

  • Apparently Chadwick Boseman got the memo that playing a musician is one of the best paths to winning an Oscar if you just do a decent job. Just ask Jamie Foxx. Playing an athlete does not have the same success rate, even when you do a phenomenal job. Just ask Anthony Perkins.
  • Is Chadwick Boseman also in every movie? He and Alan Arkin should start a club.
  • It must be acknowledged: Chadwick Boseman is a unique and cool name that is fun to say or type.

Godzilla (Gareth Edwards, USA/Japan 2014)

  • A very different trailer than I saw before, and much more effective.
  • It’s still stupid to set Godzilla in the US–it shows a complete lack of understanding of the symbolism.
  • Elizabeth Olsen was a revelation in the utterly brilliant Martha Marcy May Marlene (Sean Durkin, USA 2011). Now she’s doing Godzilla and Captain America. *Sigh* I remember when she was a real actor . . .

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