As I near the end of the Steinman project, I’m planning to end the last appearances of the song that have been covered multiple times by ranking every version of them, just for fun. However, there are some of his songs that have multiple covers but are not going to be showing up again, so I thought I would just rank the versions of them here. I’m using the list of songs from Secondhand Songs to try to be more inclusive than just what I already know from my years of Steinmania, but I’m just not going to try to cover everything.

I’m basically ignoring covers-only artists like the Hit Co. and the dozens of YouTube singers and TV talent show versions unless I have happened across them and found them noteworthy. I’m also generally ignoring instrumental covers in the same way. There are also some I just can’t find, so they aren’t included, either. I’m also excluding a capella and country versions for a different reason: I absolutely hate a capella and country. I don’t want to listen to them and since I’m not the intended audience it really doesn’t make any sense for me to.

This is a purely subjective rating. I will probably come back and add things later, so this is probably a living post.

“Holding Out for a Hero”

1. Adam Lambert (2022)
2. Tyce (2017)
   • This is pretty easily my favorite arrangement of the song. I just don’t think much of Tyce’s singing. Lambert singing this arrangement would be the best of all possible worlds.
3. Bonnie Tyler (1984) (original)

“Left in the Dark”

1. Jim Steinman (1981) (original)
2. Barbra Streisand (1984)
3. Meat Loaf (1995)
4. Tyce (2017)

“Read ’em and Weep”

1. Barry Manilow (1983)
2. Meat Loaf (1981) (original)
3. Mari L. McCarthy (2009)

“Total Eclipse of the Heart”

1. Steve Barton, Cornelia Zenz, and Ensemble Cast of Tanz der Vampire-“Totale Finsternis” (1998)
2. Exit Eden (2017)
   • I absolutely BEG for more Steinman covers by Exit Eden or someone similar. Opera metal and Steinman are just perfect together. The album’s (and the project’s) conceit was to turn pop songs into metal songs, and they changed less of “Total Eclipse of the Heart” than anything else on the album, because Steinman’s songs so easily fit into metal.
   • I don’t really like the counter point vocals and I think it could use a bit more going on outside the drums and guitars, but this is as good as a Steinman song gets without him involved.
3. Alina Lesnik (2020)
   • Yes, she’s a YouTube singer. She has a perfectly fine voice and I really like this heavier, more metal arrangement. It’s not at all dissimilar from “Making Love (Out of Nothing at All).”
4. Bonnie Tyler (1983) (original)
5. The Protomen (2015)
   • This version is almost indistinguishable from the original. It’s actually creepy just how close it is. I think Rory Dodd’s original counterpoint vocal is better and that’s the biggest difference.
6. Tyce (2017)
7. Alex Christensen and the Berlin Orchestra featuring Bonnie Tyler (2021)
   • It’s a fine cover musically, but Bonnie Tyler sounds awful. She’s 70 at the point of this recording, so there’s really no shame in it, but her voice just sounds shot.
8. Westlife (2006)
9. Nicki French (1994)

I’m still rather surprised that Meat Loaf never covered this one. He wasn’t intimidated away from “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now,” after all.